Gwen Don't Win
by Velvetblight Belial
Summary: Yeah, I'm not exactly the world's number one Gwendolyn fan. Thank God this game has Mercedes and Velvet.


_"I'm gonna get her."_

\- Geena Davis, Beetlejuice

* * *

King Brigan reclined between two columns in Ragninival's castle with a massive gold goblet at his side. About a month had passed since the revolution. Overthrowing Nebulapolis had been an easy matter of ousting Odin as a traitor with Valentinian bastard children and getting the help of a few hundred Undead soldiers to take the throne.

Brigan's concubine was sprawled across his sturdy chest, lovingly gazing up at him while her flowing silver hair tickled his skin. She was naked from head to toe and used his left pectoral like it was her mattress. She was roughly a quarter his size, with just the right shape for high-class breeding stock.

The woman was physically Gwendolyn, but spiritually she was her dead sister, Griselda. The faint, ghostly light in her eyes was proof enough. Gwendolyn had been deemed too much of the prudish sort to ever make a good, gentle concubine, so Odette had sent Griselda back up from the depths of the Underworld to take lordship of the Gwendolyn's body. This allowed Brigan and Odette to keep her firmly on a leash. Her retirement as a Valkyrie had been voluntary.

But Brigan was also aware this Gwendolyn-Griselda chimera was secretly doubling as a spy against him. He knew she was periodically reporting back to Odette through their psychic connection, ensuring Brigan never violated the terms of his pact the same way Odin foolishly had when he was still alive. Odette had all of her precious stolen Psyphers returned to her, while Brigan got to have both of Odin's bitches at once. It was more than a fair trade from his perspective. What good were a few shiny trinkets when you had the fairest, most comforting piece of flesh in the land warming your bed?

Brigan cranked his head back and took a greedy swig from his goblet.

"Is your mead good this evening, Sire?" Gwendolyn whispered from his chest. She was mildly inebriated herself.

"Yes, it is, Gwendolyn." Brigan softly brushed his massive hand over her hair and traced the toned, sun-kissed curves of her bare lower back. "But still not as delicious as you."

His consort giggled playfully at the lewd comment. Griselda's time as a soul in the Underworld had caused her prim and proper ethics to turn sour. The consuming powers of the nether realm had driven her to jealousy, and she had shown only slight remorse when the time came to seize her own sister's body. Receiving a spear through the torso on the battlefield and dying as Griselda was a horrible fate compared to receiving a different type of spear in the bedroom and living on as Gwendolyn.

The doors to the throne room suddenly echoed with a resounding _thump_ , _thump_ , _thump_. It must have been the guards coming to speak with the mighty king.

Gwendolyn's eyes shot wide with surprise as she glanced toward the door. Brigan waited for her to cover herself in her customary way: She burrowed into his soft red beard and wrapped herself as if it were a royal bedsheet. Only her feet, her shoulders, her head, and some of her silver hair were left exposed. Once she had made herself presentable, Brigan turned his attention toward the door.

"Come forth," he commanded in a booming voice.

Two Nebulapolis soldiers stepped toward the throne. They bowed to the king in respect and gave the concubine a small nod. Then one of them spoke.

"Your Majesty, the Fairy Queen has sent more of her archers to our gates. They've… melted a few of the men with their pixie dust."

"Annoying wench," King Brigan snorted. "Send out our reserve troops and have the little pests squashed."

"Should we strike the forest while we have a chance, sir?" the second guard asked.

"Heavens, no. That would be like wasting a trebuchet on an ant hill," Brigan chuckled. "Let the fairies pretend they can invade us. Tell the rest of the soldiers they're free to use the ugly things for target practice if they ever see one. That pathetic Mercedes will never gather the support she needs to start an all-out war with us."

King Brigan was a confident man, but his lack of caution would eventually become his downfall.

"Very well, Your Majesty," the first guard said.

The guards bowed again and left. The doors groaned loudly as they were pulled shut.

Gwendolyn anxiously pushed Brigan's beard away from her smooth body and smiled up at him. Brigan took another drink of his mead before licking his lips. It was going to be another one of the king's lustful nights.


End file.
